I walked in the rain today. No umbrella, no jacket. The weather was even colder than the usual, but I didn’t care. I’ve grown numb. I’ve grown too familiar with coldness to even care. I walked all the way back from campus with the priceless sensation. The way the drizzle stabbed my face, my skin. The way the wind held my skin and kissed my neck gently. There was just something about it that made me want to cry. I wanted to cry so much. But I really didn’t want to draw any attention, so I held back all the tears. I kept walking, walking, walking. I didn’t go back to my place immediately. I was looking for an excuse to walk in the rain even longer. I wander around for half an hour until I found myself outside a mall. I looked, and it looked so warm inside. I was starving, so I was so tempted to get in and buy some food. But food makes you warm. Being inside makes you warm. And I just want to stay cold. I don’t want warmth, not any more. I wanted to stay cold, so I kept walking. After an hour, I decided to get back. My hair was wet and all messy, but I didn’t really care. I wanted to stay outside in the rain, and maybe fall asleep on the street. I wanted to just throw my bag away and then sit under a tree and cry. I wanted to cry along with the rain, so the earth would know that I understand how she felt. I wanted to tell the sky to stop crying, because it made me sad too. But I didn’t. Instead, I went back and find myself hiding comfortably. I wish I didn’t get back so early. I wish I had stayed outside and cried. I wish I had sit down on the street and fall asleep as the earth cried. I wish I had let the rain washed me away.