tagged by bootyandthefeast (hi manda)

I know it’s supposed to be selfies but apparently I’ve only taken like 2 selfies in the past year???? also I would love to post humiliating photos of me (I have like thousands of them lol) but I don’t think the world is ready for that???? so yeah.

1. taken back in 2012 during the last night of idonotsmelllikemyname in bandung before he took off to bristol. the size of my eyes are only like half of his though??

2. we were in the middle of a photo-shoot and the model was taking a break and the rest of us were just like, “hey do you know that in japan there’s a trend of taking pictures like this should we try while we wait???” and so we did. 

3. we were trying to make a presentation for our final thesis defense. we didn’t finish anything that day though lol

4. so in my uni there’s this one like VERY GORGEOUS girl and this one time she had a photo-shoot where she wore this amazing backless dress and did tons of sexy poses and a couple weeks later during another photo-shoot my friend and I tried to imitate her (and failed miserably) but at least we gave the whole crew a good laugh that day??

5. taken over a month ago on the night of my birthday. this was the first birthday surprise I’ve had in years. I was happy.

6. new haircut. going to save so much money on shampoo now yes

going through these photos is kind of like reliving them again though hahaha gosh such good memories, maybe I should try to remember these moments more often.

anyway, I tag bigfatpie, drunkslide, nydtea, mrvonnegut, myfivecentsworth, noblepulsarwaves, aidaska, laughbitchlaugh, astoldbysheena and anyone else who wants to participate???

1) A boy telling you you’re pretty won’t make you see the beauty in the fullness of your cheeks, in redness of your lips at 2 in the morning when tequila is making the bar bathroom spin. He can’t take away the ugliness that you see in yourself, you have to do that.

2) You have to be ready to hear someone say they love you. You have to be ready, and you have to be willing, and you have to listen. Because sometimes, they won’t say those three words, they’ll put a blanket over you while you’re watching a movie, they’ll kiss your cheek when they think you’re asleep, they’ll smile when they see you first thing in the morning. But you, you have to be willing to see it, feel it, let it in. Letting someone love you takes practice.

3) Don’t make compromises you can’t live with. Compromise is a different version of what you want, not a whole other Universe.

4) Learn to say no. No - to a movie you don’t want to watch; no - to sex you don’t want to have, no- to a relationship that’s driving you mad. Say no - to things that hurt you, to people that extinguish your fire, to jobs you hate and places that are desolate. There are bad things that we can’t control, bad things that happen and we are sucked into and have to feel with every fibre of our being, but the rest - learn to distance yourself, learn to say no.

5) Don’t expect people to walk through fire for you - not your parents, not your friends, not the person you’re in love with. Love doesn’t mean sacrifice, love shouldn’t mean sacrifice. Don’t expect someone to give away pieces of them, so they could fit you better. And don’t feel hurt when they refuse to - it’s self-preservation. Instead - learn from them. Do it as well.

6) Don’t tether yourself to people. Learn to make connections, to love, with both your feet steady on the ground. Learn to let people pass through your life; like a summer breeze, not a storm that’s just been unleashed.

7) Learn the difference between growth and growing up before it’s too late. Rooftops and water fights and ice cream for breakfast can be a part of your life at 10, 25, or 35. But by the time you’re 35 you need to learn to say enough, to be able to walk away, you need to be able to love yourself. Love yourself the way you loved yourself at 10, before the world had a chance to fill your head with ugliness.

—— m.v., The list of things I learned before turning 22, pt.1.  (via jaeheeimnida)

if I really have to compete for your attention, then maybe I don’t want it anyway. maybe you don’t deserve mine anyway.

i’ve been meaning to write something since yesterday but i cant stop knitting yo what is this

Me trying to express how I feel: Idk I just feel like...idk...idk man. Nvm I'm good.

❝ Just because I love you doesn’t mean you’re worth it. ❞
—— I Don’t Want to Hurt for You (#621: July 24, 2014)

To the boy who said I should be more ladylike:
I will not cross my legs or twirl my hair
around my finger because it makes
me whole.
I will not bat my eyelashes at you
when you hold the door open for me
and I will not bat my eyelashes at you
when you don’t.
I will not wait for your text messages every night
as if I need your written validation
for my existence.
I will not sit back and laugh at jokes that I
don’t find funny because I can make a room
roar with laughter in seconds flat.

To the boy who said I’m “smart for a girl”:
I will not stop reading book after book
until I’m sure my knowledge can wipe you
off your feet.
I will not feel guilty when I correct your grammar
or point out when you have misspoken.
I will not bow down to you because your father
is a successful businessman and I will not
let you leave until you hear about my mother
who is a profound bio-chemist.
I will not stop using words that confuse you
and I will not stop discussing politics or
the woes of capitalism because my female opinions
make you ‘uncomfortable’.

To the boy who said he hated my body:
I will not spend extra hours at the gym
to keep you from seeing my thighs jiggle
and I will not eat food fit for birds
to ensure you can fit your hand between my thighs.
I will not stop wearing that skin tight dress that
makes my ass look out of this world and I
certainly will not break your gaze when
you evaluate my worth.
I will not stop applying winged eyeliner or bright
red lipstick because I’m not here to look
like your man-made masterpiece.
I will not be a product of your temptation.

To the boy who sees me as an equal:
I will not praise you as if you are a rare species
nor will I boast that you are one of a kind.
I will not drunkenly utter that “I’ve finally got one!”
to my girlfriends over wine
because a boy with a level head shouldn’t be
impossible to find.
I will not pin you up next to my trophies
or diplomas as if you are some sort of accomplishment.
I will not degrade you to what we have been degraded
to all along.

I will defend the girls who are told they are not ladylike
I will protect the girls who are told they are too smart
I will support the girls who are told they should fix their bodies
I will fight for the girls who you tell are not good enough
and I will praise the girls who simply do not care.

Equality is a right, not a rarity.

—— Kimberly Siehl | Equality is a right, not a rarity

things noticed

last night was what happens when you add low blood pressure to the fact that i haven’t really eaten anything in the past couple of weeks. i just didn’t really care anymore, to be honest. i wanted to shrink and then shrink some more until i am no longer— anyway. mother was pissed and going to force feed me for a while. i don’t know why i was so relieved when she found this out. i guess deep, deep, deep down i’ve just been waiting for someone to notice. no one really did, surprise.

two years later, mum still talks about step father in present tense to other people. i can only imagine how it must feel- to be so scared, so hurt by the loss of your loved ones that you can’t even say it out loud.

i always thought that letting go of people is an experience that has its own limit, like i was always hoping one day i’d get a message saying, “congratulations, you’ve been letting people go for twenty three years straight, from now on you can keep all of them.” but every time, every single damn time, it’s like building sand castles just to watch people destroy it at the end of the day.

your hard work will never betray you, my mum always said when i was younger. your hard work will never betray you. your hard work will never betray you. i can’t get those words out of my head.

it’s true, i should have never tried to make homes out of people. and i should have never let them make their home out of me because i’m just to be abandoned and destroyed when they’re ready to leave.

does any of this make sense though, i don’t know, i’m feeling a little fuzzy from the med and i still haven’t eaten. i hope you’re all doing well.


To women with daughters
hoping to raise subservient
domestic slaves:

Hand your daughter
a hammer
before you give her
a kitchen knife.

Or better yet,
let her choose
her own weapon.

Teach her how to
manage a bank account
before you enlist her
to domestic service.


Equip her
with a strong voice,
so that she may
speak over
those who may feel
they know
her place better
than she does.

So no one
can make her
decisions for her.

Allow her to choose:
her own colours,
her own way,
her own likings.

She may not like
dresses after all,
what’s the harm?

Encourage her
to be independent,
to pursue her dreams.

You were not born
believing that your
body is a factory,
so why would
you impose the idea
on one of your own?

If you tell your daughter
that she is
in any way
less than a man,
the problem is that
she will eventually
believe you.


I don’t usually discuss the story behind a piece of writing, but this one stands out.

My parents had a few families over for dinner recently and I wanted to help in the kitchen to the best of my ability. So I was putting clean dishes away, clearing out the ones from inside the sink, etc.

As I did this, one of the ladies said to me from behind me: “It’s wonderful that you’re helping your mother out, but don’t you dare do this when you’re married, or else your wife will never do any work! ”

It could have been a joke, but it wasn’t. Because she proceeded to cite examples of wives who did not do “what they were supposed to do.” Essentially, she was telling me that it’s perfectly fine to help my mother in the kitchen, but unacceptable to do the same for my wife when I’m married.

The problem with this is that she has two young daughters of her own, and she is raising them with this backwards mentality that men should be excluded from domestic work simply on the basis of biology, which is completely unacceptable.

Boys aren’t princes and girls aren’t slaves. There is nothing more special about a man which puts him above a woman. There is something incredibly wrong with this mentality, the fact that it persists and is being instilled into children from a young age.

— Nav K

(via navk)


money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference